We need to have a talk. A deep talk, one you probably don’t want to hear. But we have to talk or else things won’t get better. There’s been a movement happening and I could bore you with stats and facts I have about feminism existing for years and each of the waves but that’s counter productive here. You know feminism exists, and you know it’s becoming mainstream. There is a evil lurking in that mainstream factor, and that is what I call “one day feminism”
Every ounce of support is wanted and needed, no matter who you are let’s just address that first. I’m not at all saying to never participate if you happen to fall under the category of one day feminism but I’m asking you to try harder. If not for yourself for all the women you’re supposed to be supporting with your activism. I’ve seen a huge up rise of young women being self proclaimed feminists and I love it, I do, but being feminist for your convenience be it for celebrity popularity, or to stand out, and make a fashion statement- whatever it may be there is a gap. This gap exists when you don’t make a habit of putting feminism into your everyday life. You have the merchandise, you have the gear-but do you have the feminist heart?
There is a lot of hypocrisy I find. I delve into the existence of online fandoms or so be it, which is where a lot of this happens. Girls who feel they’re special for liking books still while other girls party (which in itself is partially part of slut shaming, but let’s not dig into that too much), or are outsiders- you know the type. They have this tendency to gravitate to the feminist movement and then drop it the next day. They won’t admit they are but how do you raise up a woman and empower her, but turn around and dismiss and undermine another just the same day and call yourself a feminist when your favorite celebrity gets online? That’s not how feminism works. I believe in embracing it through lifestyle changes, through speaking out which takes me to a second topic here. One woman’s voice is worth more than others right now. How did we get here? I see it constantly, you praise a woman for speaking her mind and getting rid of negativity or toxicity around her and then when you inflict that very negativity on another woman, and you shame her for trying to remove it- the very basis of “internet dragging“. That is a problem.
Women’s voices are being silenced every day and yet this culture wants to simultaneously tell women to speak out but allow other women to negatively shame them. What is this mess? I see far too much of it. Under the guise of being “petty” or being “extra” as a joke which is just them hiding because they know they’ve done wrong. Their idol may even feel disappointed in them. So what do you do when you’re confronted with this issue. How can we carefully watch each other so we don’t invalidate what we want to believe in while not policing each others opinions.
You can have a negative opinion on a woman. You can not like her hair, her face, her personality- but you do not have to speak that negative opinion. Opinions like those are ones you keep carefully hidden up, and not associated with you. When hating someone becomes a part of your identity, it’s harmful. I hear a name, I associate it with them hating someone I love for example. That should not be how life is? Then to turn around and say “oh this or that woman inspires me and I love her, and go women’s rights we need to fight back blah blah”. It helps a little bit. It raises some noise. But does it raise it in your heart?
Don’t be a feminist for a day. We don’t need you for your celebrity or your to make yourself look good. Being a feminist is about bringing women up, starting from inside yourself. We need women who care about others who may not even care for them. Because we all deserve equality.
Be a feminist for life.